3 Ways To Stop Negative Thoughts That Don’t Serve You In Life
Discover the tools that will help you overcome unwanted negative thoughts so you can make room for light, peace, and abundance to enter your life.
What are negative thoughts? When do they show up in your life and help you handle situations effectively and when the negative thoughts impede happiness and emotional balance?
Negative thoughts can benefit us when they protect us from potential damages. For example, they can turn on a warning light when someone has a toxic influence, or when a certain situation puts us in danger.
But when the negative thoughts have turned into a daily addiction, as some type of systematic mechanism through which you view the world, then they have become a problem on their own.
If your default is negative and bitter thinking that accompanies you in your daily routine, you might want to explore the option of developing critical thinking towards these negative thoughts.
As you start practicing the methods I will suggest in this article, you will train your brain to develop healthy neuropathways.
Our brain can change when we are aware of our destructive patterns and through experience — when we repeatedly apply the right actions.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been negative your entire life. You might have been conditioned since childhood to embrace negative thoughts as a sophisticated protective mechanism.
For example — if you grew up with emotionally abusive parents, you might have developed negative thinking to protect yourself from hurt and disappointment.
It doesn’t matter how old you are and where you live. At any age, anywhere, as an adult, you can get rid of negative thoughts.
As long as you are aware of the patterns that have run your life, you have the ability to stop negative thinking.
Types of Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts can split into several types and each kind focuses on a certain negative aspect.
In some areas, you might not even have destructive negativity, while in other subjects, the negativity conducts your reality perception.
For example, you can be supercritical towards others, and yet, be completely optimistic that the future will unfold as it should.
Or you can notice countless flaws in yourself while seeing in others their strengths.
The goal is to find the balance so you will not live in an illusion and force yourself to think positively if your needs are not being met. For instance — forcing yourself to think positive about the abusive relationship you’re in.
But on the other hand, learn to recognize when your negativity is nothing but imaginary, false, scripts in your head.
Here are the main 4 categories of negative thoughts:
Negative thoughts and constant judgments towards others
For example: “what a stupid person”; “her makeup is ridiculous”; “his laughter is weird”; “he has a funny walk”; “the way she talks irritates me”.
Directing your focus to what you perceive to be your “flaws”
For example: “nothing ever works out for me, I have no luck”; “I’m not good at anything”; “why is this always happening to me”?; “I shouldn’t have said that now they will not be my friends”; “I am so ugly”.
A tendency to only focus only on the negative in places and situations
“The weather here is terrible”; “I hate this city and its traffic”; “what a horrible service” (you say it about almost any restaurant you visit); “I forgot my sunglasses, the vacation is ruined”.
Complaining and blaming others instead of taking responsibility
- “What a crook professional, he took my money, and now he doesn’t answer my calls” (if that happens with almost anyone you hire, instead of performing thorough research beforehand).
- “What a rude friend, I always do things for her, and when I ask for a favor, she’s not there for me” (instead of setting healthy boundaries and work on your codependency patterns).
- “I always meet unavailable men, when will I get lucky?” (Instead of looking inside and take responsibility for the unhealthy attachment style that makes you attract these people).
How To Clear Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts that warn you of potential hazards are your natural defense mechanism and you should actually listen to them, rather than sweeping them under the rug.
But persistent negative thoughts that got out of control, are the ones you should give your attention to because these are toxic and don’t add any value.
These draining thoughts rob you of peace, prevent you from getting to know new people, and make you drawn deep into your own frustration. This frustration, at its core, is a negative vibration.
As energetic beings, we magnetize into our lives circumstances and people that resonate the same frequencies.
When your negative vibration is your default one, you will attract undesired events and results that will perpetuate these negative thoughts.
The negative results will provide validation to your negative views and will set this cycle on an endless loop “you see, I am right, the world is shitty and nothing ever works out for me”.
The first step to stop this cycle of negative thoughts is the stage of recognition. You need to pay attention to your type of negativity that I mentioned above so it will help you get to know yourself and your triggers.
Challenge Your Thoughts
Just because you think certain things, doesn’t make this way of thinking correct.
It could be that the map in your head doesn’t always match reality, especially if that perception causes you to experience ongoing suffering.
So, this is where you need to challenge these thoughts and offer healthy alternatives.
For example — “my boss is such an idiot, he never listens to anything I say”.
Is that true? Has your supervisor never listened to anything you said? Were there times you can think of that he was listening? Have you stumbled upon similar difficulties in other workplaces?
This is a great opportunity to notice if there are repeated tendencies in your life that happen time and again.
Here’s another example — “my boyfriend doesn’t really love me”. Is it absolutely true? Could it be that he expresses love in ways that are not registered in your experience?
Maybe he doesn’t say loving words and buy gifts, but is he doing other things? Maybe cooking for you or giving you his time?
Every person has their own love language and we don’t always speak the same language when it comes to expressing and receiving love.
Look For Solutions And Not Someone To Blame
So many people derive pleasure from complaining and venting and pointing out problems. They’re always in a loop that focuses on what’s wrong as if it provides them a sense of relief.
Complaints actually are important to express because when we share our feelings with others, our pain is witnessed. This is meeting our needs to be heard and seek comfort and support.
But for some people, the complaining and blaming others stage never reaches an end and they have no room for problem-solving.
After the stage of complaining about the negative things that happened, it is imperative to direct your energy towards effective solutions that will meet your true needs.
Remember the examples above?
If your boss is a difficult person to communicate with and is self-centered, you can then start to think of actual solutions. Such as, moving to another department or ask to work under another supervisor.
Or if you feel your boyfriend doesn’t love you, it could be a wonderful opportunity to make requests and ask him to show you love with kind words because that is your subjective experience of love.
But it could also be that the negative thoughts actually indicate that your intuition is accurate.
Therefore, it’s your job to take responsibility for your well-being and check-in with yourself why you settle for people who don’t love you.
What limiting beliefs are behind this? Do you subconsciously believe that you are not worthy of love? That you are not good enough? What is the model of relationships you absorbed at a young age?
Technologies For Brain Training
If you want to boost the process of becoming a more positive person, then make sure you check out my mind-shifting recordings here.
These tracks combine subliminal affirmations and Sound Therapy (I use the technologies of Binaural beats and Isochronic Tones). These technologies present the brain with healing frequencies that induce relaxation, positivity, and peace.
Changing a lifetime of negative thinking is a process that takes time, but my special mind-tools can help you achieve that desired mindset faster with minimal effort.
To Sum It Up
Getting rid of that destructive, draining negative thinking requires you to pay attention to your patterns. See where it happens in your life. Don’t judge yourself, but approach it with curiosity and compassion.
You don’t have to think positive about everything and everyone. Negative thinking can actually protect you from harmful people and situations and help you make better choices in life.
But when negative mentality becomes your default, then it is time to shift this thinking and embrace a balanced way of viewing the world.